Case 1: While driving to work, some asshole cut me off on the highway right before my exit. Instead of nonviolently flipping my middle finger and verbally expressing a few expletives like a normal person, I pulled in to the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts, ordered some coffee and pretended to get the wrong order just so I can yell at the poor, innocent cashier to vent my frustration. Then I promptly paid for my drink, threw it in the garbage on my way out, and drove to work late.
Case 2: So I was occupying this one arcade at Dave & Busters when suddenly, nature called. I walked to the bathroom to empty my bladder and returned to my spot, only to see that it was a taken by some girl. This enraged me so much that I walked back into the men’s room, wrapped my head in toilet paper, and stomped into the women’s bathroom to rip all the toilet seats off inside each stall. Oh, I put those seats down, alright: down on the ground. Then I shunpo’d over to the Fruit Ninja machine to chop up some fruits.
Case 3: The other day, I was in one of the stores inside the mall looking to buy a new sweater when one of the employees approached me to offer assistance. I told him I was fine but he kept insisting that I be helped. At the peak of my ire, I finally agreed that I was indeed in need of assistance so I told him to fetch me three different sweaters scattered throughout the highest racks in the store. He retrieved the step ladder, acquired all three sweaters and once I had them in my possession, I asked him if there were any other step ladders in the store. He gave me a puzzled look before replying with, “No, this is the only one we have.” Upon hearing this, I smashed the ladder to pieces and told him I changed my mind about the sweaters.
Is there no end to this madness? How many ladders must be destroyed before we stop this cycle of violence?
‹^› (': ' ) ‹^›
‹^› (': ' ) ‹^›
